Lately, I've been reflecting back on the year and 7 months that I have been working with the PLEO. I've been reviewing what my initial expectations of this work would be and comparing those with what has come about. Initially, I was thinking purely in terms of external changes or outcomes on my body as a result of engaging with the robot. As a dancer/performer/improvisor I have established ways of working that are oriented in a specific practice that are derived from my training in butoh (A Japanese avant-garde form from the 1950's and 60's). The philosophy of this form focuses a lot on where movement 'originates' in the body/mind/spirit/history/evolution (and elsewhere). The methods of this form are rooted in images and using those images to change the body. From the perspective of butoh, it has been said that the 'natural body' is trapped within modern forms laid upon it by dance, particularly the dances of the western hemisphere. Butoh training provides an opportunity for anyone to access deeper, less restricted access to the 'natural body' as it is channeled through countless prior generations of human, animal, fish, microorganism, or rock. This has been my experience of the form as I've practiced it for over a decade now.
Neurologist and writer Antonio Damasio states in his treatise on consciousness, The Feeling of What Happens (1999, p. 186):
"One could argue, in fact, that the consistent content of the verbal narrative of consciousness --regardless of the vagaries of its form-- permits one to deduce the presence of the equally consistent, nonverbal, imaged narrative that I am proposing as the foundation of consciousness (my emphasis)."
He continues:
"The narrative of the state of the proto-self being changed by the interaction with an object must first occur in its nonlanguage form if it is ever to be translated in suitable words (my emphasis again)."
I would say that the verbal narrative of consciousness is one often employed in contemporary western dance, whereas the foundation of consciousness in nonverbal imaged narrative is what butoh practitioners are aiming to experience and describe.
So at the point that I had begun working with the PLEO I was interested primarily in the intersection between human and machine movement and how the images of the 'natural' animal body intersected with the images of the 'created' bodies of robots. A robot cannot imagine itself at this point in time; therefore humans must imagine the robot as itself and then take this image into their own bodies. This is what I was planning to try and do myself when I started with this work.
Yet, what have been the most surprising outcomes (and has struck me as the most interesting aspect of this work so far) are the internal changes I have experienced in working with the robot. These changes have been profound; they defy words and time-tracking. However, I can say this, I have overlaid on the robot itself my projected ideas and images. I have the knowledge that this PLEO robot thinks nothing, feels nothing, is aware of nothing. But when I turn him on, I can't shake the feeling that somehow he can and does. This active belief that he is ALIVE, has resulted in my attachment to him. A recent event demonstrated to me how deeply this belief was triggering my own behavior towards the robot:
I re-charged the battery and placed it inside the PLEO so that I could demonstrate to a friend who was visiting, how the PLEO moved. Upon turning him on, he stuttered and fell over. I turned him off and on to try and jump-start his system. No matter what I did (turning him on and off, removing and re-installing his battery) PLEO wouldn't 'wake up' fully. I had the internal emotional experience of having found a beloved pet dead. My heart fluttered as I shook the pleo, furiously turning him off and on again whilst my friend calmly told me to try and re-charge the battery. Though I followed his directions, I could feel the schism between his calm rationalism (the robot might be broken, but perhaps the battery is just dead, it will all work out or you buy a new robot eventually), and my feelings of guilt at having done something wrong to 'kill' the robot.
So the work began as an attempt to study PLEO's movements and how these movements when translated through my body would evoke in me the experience of BEING a robot. Yet, what has happened instead is that I have taken into myself his FEELINGS. These feelings are my own attachment schemas. In some ways, for the last year and a half, I have been evoking from the deep past, my own attachment schemas and dancing them with this robot. His nonverbal imaged narrative (programming language resulting in movements and sounds evoked through interaction with me and the rest of his environment) transformed my core consciousness.